The Fartman

Elastic Explosives

fartmanshelper — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 05:00:06 +0000

The Fartman’s Abbreviated Terror Equation: SBD + BVDs x PDQ = IED ^ PU

fartmanshelper — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 05:00:04 +0000

The Fartman watched a brass quartet play today, and understood all-too-well the need for the spit valve.

fartmanshelper — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 05:00:25 +0000

The Fartman has a “meth & crack problem,” but it’s thankfully not methamphetamines or crack cocaine

fartmanshelper — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 05:00:30 +0000

The Fartman never likes to interrupt, but he has been known to “butt in”

fartmanshelper — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 05:00:11 +0000

Most people look out for #1. The Fartman is always on the lookout for #2.

fartmanshelper — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 05:00:06 +0000

Senator Clinton is on “the hot seat” today during confirmation hearings. The Fartman knows exactly what the hot seat feels like.

fartmanshelper — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 05:00:47 +0000

“Passing muster” means something is judged as acceptable. Sadly for The Fartman, “passing mustard” has a different meaning.

fartmanshelper — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 05:00:45 +0000

The Marine motto is “Semper Fi,” which means “always faithful.” The Fartman’s motto is “Semper Fiber,” which means “always flatulent.”

fartmanshelper — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 05:00:00 +0000

The Fartman’s 2009 New Year’s Resolution – No more December 31st high-fiber binges for the inevitable “Do the National Anthem” challenges.

fartmanshelper — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 05:00:55 +0000

It was a morning when the bitter cold rendered cars impotent, and breath shown like steamy vapor trails. For The Fartman, a terrible day